Bring Me To Life
by WindmillKiller
Summary: YAOI,SLASH,SeiferxZell This is about Zell having problems and Seifer doing his best to help him. But do they know what or who they're against? Read to find out. Review while you're at it too. Chapters get better honestly.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Ok…this is one of my very first fics, this idea struck me when I was listening to Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life". That song is soooooooooo cool! I THINK it was the theme song in DareDevil…I'm not sure…This fic is mainly about Zell, or to be precise, Zell and Seifer…*evil grin* I already told you that this is one of my first fics, so please be nice… Reviews, will be GREATLY appreciated, and reviewers, will be worshipped like gods…just kidding…^_^ 

Legend: Words in _italics_, are obviously thoughts, or to softly emphasize, whatever that means…while words in **bold**, are to emphasize, or for any other obvious reason. ~*~*~ means transfer of character, obviously enough…

Warnings: If you want to read something that will stimulate your mind and enrich your vocabulary, or probably anything that a sane person would write, stay far away, I mean FAR AWAY, from my fics, for these fics can cause permanent brain damage and most likely insanity. Well…other warnings are: Shounen-ai / yaoi / a bit of angst / lemon (note: none right now, probably in next chapters) / foul language / some MAJOR OOC / and some other stuff that might not be pleasant for children…if you don't like those stuff, I advise you to leave now.

Disclaimer: Do we even need this? I mean, if I owned Zell, Seifer and all the other ff8 characters, then I wouldn't need to write in fanfiction.net, I would also be writing my own book by now! Anyway, Squaresoft, owns all those cool characters, not me, so don't sue me.

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Chapter 1

"WAKE UP"

As I opened my eyes, I saw none other than Fujin, one my trusted friends. And beside her was Raijin my other friend. I slowly got up and head to the shower. 

"Do you mind leaving for a while? I prefer to shower alone."

"SURE" 

"We'll be waitin for you at the cafeteria, it's usually crowded there at this time, ya know?"

"Fine, just wait for me there ok!"

I heard the door slam shut after a few seconds. I usually don't mind them being around but today is a special day and I need some time to think. For today is the day that I take my final exams to pass as a SeeD. You might be shocked, but after the whole Ultimecia and Sorceress' knight crap, they all forgave me and accepted me back into the garden on one condition: I don't cause any more trouble than necessary. Of course I agreed, what else could I do if I didn't decide to become a SeeD candidate again. Besides, my only 2 best friends are here and that _someone_ is still here and I have no other place to go.

I finished my shower, quickly put on my shirt, pants, shoes and my infamous gray trench coat. I walked on the corridor…and I passed by _him_ while he was shadowboxing…He looks serious every time he trains. I quickly walked by him as to avoid my urge to tease him. I promised myself that I wouldn't tease and annoy him for the entire day because it might mess up my thinking when I take my final exam. 

I reached the canteen and sat between Fujin and Raijin. Raijin was already on his 5th plate of food while Fujin was just sipping some tea.

"Hey, so what's on the menu?"

"USUAL"

"Well, there's ya hotdogs, some burgers and some soup, the usual, ya know?"

"Oh, I'll have some hotdogs and a cup of coffee. Get it for me, will you Raijin?"

"Uh, sure boss!"

"Thanks!"

You might think I'm taking advantage of my friends, ordering them around like that, but that's where you're wrong. We've been through a lot, they more or less know what makes me tick. They know everything about me… well, except that "thing" or should I say _someone_. I don't bother telling them about that… because…I'm… afraid of what they might think of me. Yes, you heard that right, Seifer Almasy is afraid of what his friends might think of him when they know he's gay. And yes, the Sorceress' Knight falls for guys. 

Raijin gave me my food, I thanked him. He was staring at something when I turned to look what he was staring at, he was staring at _him_. And he was looking at me. I panicked and look the other way. Raijin saw what I did…

"Seif, we're your best friends, we know you like the back of our palms, we know about him, ya know?"

I looked at Fujin.

"YES, WE KNOW"

"We don't care whether you go for girls or guys, we're your pals! We're behind ya 100%, ya know?"

"I know…I just…didn't know…if I…" Fujin, stopped me in mid-sentence and said…

"NO PROBLEM"

~*~*~

After I woke up, I went straight for the shower then to the training center. After beating the hell out of a couple of grats, I took it easy and went outside to do some shadowboxing. A few minutes went by, Seifer passed, _Uh-oh! Not today…! _And as if he read my mind he walked by me without saying a word. _Phew! Thank goodness! _Back to my shadowboxing! Selphie also passed by, I greeted her, she greeted me.

"Mornin!"

"Hey! Isn't it too early for you to be training?"

"Course not, its never too early to get my muscles toned up!"

*Yawn* "If you say so! Hey, you hungry?"

"Hmmm… ya, now that you mention it"

I went with her to the cafeteria, I was hoping to get my daily dose of hotdogs to give me the energy I need for the day! When I reached the cafeteria, I fell in line and I saw Raijin in line too, he was eyeing me curiously so I looked at him too. He gave the plate of food he was carrying to Seifer. And I saw Seifer looking at me too. When he saw me looking at him he looked away. _There is something fishy going on…and I want to know what it is…hmmm… maybe I can make Selphie go on a gossiping excursion and find out what they're up to…_

"Hey! How many hotdogs do you want?"

"Huh, what?"

"Looks like you're in deep thought, wait a minute… you don't use your brain, unless you're eating! Ok, tell me what's going on?"

"Fine, you go get a seat, I'll bring this"

I grabbed a lot of hotdogs when I reached our seat and as I sat down, I already finished 2 of 'em! I sat down next to Selphie and she asked me what that was all about.

"Ok, let's get straight to the point, what's going on?"

"Well, this may sound farfetched but I think Seifer and his gang are up to something…"

"What do you mean up to something?"

"I mean he and Raijin was staring at me back at the counter!"

"Oh, that" *giggle*

"What?! Do you know something that I don't?!"

*giggle* "You mean you haven't noticed?!"

"Haven't noticed what?!"

"Oh" *giggle* "You'll know when the right time comes"

"Come on Selphie!"

What the hell was she talking about?! I thought talking to her would help me out, but no, instead it pisses me of! Sure, Seifer didn't torture me today, but Selphie is hiding something and I want to know, NOW! 

~*~*~

I can't believe Zell still doesn't know! Hahaha! Poor Zell! 

"Come on Selphie!"

*giggle* "This is gonna be so cool!"

~*~*~

****

He saw me staring at him and now he's talking to Selphie about it. He is so predictable. And it looks like Selphie isn't helping him out as expected. It looks like as though Selphie is laughing her head off…_No way…could she? Could she have noticed? Perhaps…but I don't think Selphie is the one who would go telling him, she's one of those type who wants to play cupid most of the time. Oh…I remember now, she caught me staring at him several times during class…when I would stop looking at him and I would glare at her, she would just wink at me…oh well, she obviously knows…_

I glanced at my watch, 5 minutes till 9 am; I have to get to the classroom for my first test. 

"Have to go, first exam in 5 minutes"

"GOOD LUCK"

"Thanks! Bye!"

"BYE"

"Bye Seif! Good luck!"

I entered the classroom and sat on my seat. Quistis was already there and was waiting for the other students to arrive. I still find it hard to believe that Quistis fell for that horny cowboy. I thought she would have preferred Squall or something, but I guess with her whip and Irvine's thirst for sex…it doesn't seem too impossible. Speaking of Squall, he's happily married to Rinoa…even though most of the time Squall would ignore her constant rambling they get along pretty well. Fujin and Raijin, one of the most expected couples, are doing fine, Selphie is going out with this girl from Galbadia garden, and yes, she's a lesbian. Xu used to go out with Quistis, Nida used to go out with Squall and now, since Xu and Nida are both heartbroken they went with each other. Weird isn't it? You would never have expected that the commander and Quistis to be bisexual. Well, that's what makes the world an interesting place to live in. So, in other words, it's only him and me that are still loveless. The moment I saw him while we were fighting our final battle, I gave up all hope of ever finding love. I saw all the hate and anger in his eyes, it made me hate myself so much that I tried to commit suicide. But of course, the dear Sorceress wouldn't allow that, she still needs me to be her puppet.

Quistis broke my trail of thought when she handed me the exam. I browsed at it and found it to be easy. Finished it within 30 minutes. I passed my paper and had it checked. I got an A and was proud of it! Now, to my next test! I still had 30 minutes free since I finished my test quickly. I decided to pay a visit to the training center to calm my brain. As I walked down the corridor, I saw him running as fast as he can to the elevator. He was sweating and he looked very worried. Behind him was Selphie, she also looked a bit worried, I asked her what was happening…

"What's going on?"

She gave me some sort of look, she wasn't teasing or anything even though she knew, she even looked happy or relieved to see me, I was confused…

"Seifer, thank goodness you're here. You see, Zell was called to Squall's office, Squall said it was about his mom, he sounded serious so Zell became worried and rushed upstairs"

"What do you think happened?" 

" I don't know, why don't you come with me?"

Before I can even answer she dragged me along with her. _I don't mind coming but what will he think, I mean he's already suspicious of me… _We reached Squall's office, we could hear someone sobbing. Without thinking I barged into the door and I saw Zell sobbing softly as he was talking on the phone. I saw a single tear come down from his eyes. At that instant I felt so sorry for him…Selphie and I talked to Squall, Squall beckoned us to go outside. He eyed me curiously as if wondering what the hell I was doing there.

"Squall, he's here to help, so tell us what happened?"

"Tsk, fine, the hospital in Dollet called and said that a train accident happened. No one was seriously injured, but unfortunately Ms. Dincht was at the wrong place at the wrong time, the train was having trouble with the brakes, so the train flipped and Ms. Dincht was the one crushed under the weight of the whole train. She went to Dollet to visit some relatives…the doctors are doing everything they can to save her"

I know I couldn't feel the pain he is feeling right now. I hope she pulls through, because if she doesn't I don't know how Zell's gonna take it, she's the only family he's got. 

"Poor Zell… I wonder how he's gonna feel…"

"Pretty bad of course, how would you feel if a huge train crushed the only person you love?!" 

"Well…"

"Stop it Seifer, it's already bad as it is, don't make it worse."

"But I'm not!"

I saw my watch and I remembered that I have another test in a few minutes. I rushed to our classroom, while hoping that Zell's mom is okay.

~*~*~

****

What did I do to deserve this?! I was good, I made some mistakes, but I'm only human! What's going to happen to me? I ran as fast as I can out of the office and out of the garden, I didn't care who I bumped into, all I cared was to get to Dollet as fast as possible. I took the Ragnarok without permission, I'll deal with my punishment later. I flew it until I reached Dollet. I hired a cab to take me to the hospital. I talked to a couple of nurses to show me the way. Her room number was 516. I knocked on the door softly. I heard a voice on the other side. I saw the doctor and I asked him about her condition…

"Doc…so… um…is she gonna…live?" I choked back on my last word. I was so scared of knowing what the answer might be…

He looked neutral, so I wasn't sure if it was a "yes" or a "no".

"I am very sorry to tell you this…"

"No…it can't be…no…I won't accept this…"

"I'm sorry but there was too much blood loss…"

I clutched her hand…her hand was still warm…

"Ma…you've got to live…I can't…no…I won't…there must be something I can do!"

"I'm sorry, it's just her time to leave…"

"No…Ma! Ma! Wake up! You've got to be kidding!"

The doctor just bowed his head in silence…

I couldn't take it anymore, I ran and ran…to where? I didn't care, I let my feet bring me to my destination. I stopped for breath in front of a bar, I checked my pocket, enough for a few…dozen bottles…

~*~*~

****

This is my last test. Since that event in Squall's office I've taken quite a number of tests, I mostly got A's I got 2 B's but I don't care. I have to concentrate and rush to Dollet. 

After the test, I couldn't take my mind off him. I knew there was something wrong and it's not only because of his mom. I looked for Selphie, and I found her in the cafeteria. 

"Any news? Have you seen him? Is he in Dollet? How is he? Does he need any help? What about his mom?"

"Slow down! I last seen him in the office but he ran away just after you left, he also took the Ragnarok with him. He didn't say where he was going but he's most likely in Dollet."

I didn't bother listening to her anymore as I rushed out of the cafeteria.

"Wait!"

"What?! I'm in a hurry here!"

"I know…"

"Know what?"

"About you liking him"

"Oh…that…"

"Don't worry! I know you can take care of him!"

"Well…um…Thanks!"

After that I was sort of shocked… I already had a hunch she knew but I didn't know that she approved of me…but still I was happy. _Stop thinking about what she thinks and start hurrying to where he is! _I had to keep my mind focused on my destination. _Let's see…A train from Balamb will cost…I'll probably get there by…midnight…that's too late…but I have to hurry…_

* * *

Author's note: Ok…that's it for the first chapter…I know I may sound a bit… formal…well…I don't really know… maybe I'm just a little paranoid…oh well! I'm just new to the writing business. Reviews, as I said before will be greatly appreciated, while reviewers will be given a 10-foot statue in their honor. (Statue is void to all beings of planet earth.) 


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **Ok…this is one of my very first fics' 2nd chapter…I already told you that this is one of my first fics, so please be nice… Reviews, will be GREATLY appreciated, and reviewers, will be worshipped like gods…just kidding… 

**Legend: **Words in _italics_, are obviously thoughts, or to softly emphasize, whatever that means…while words in **bold**, are to emphasize, or for any other obvious reason. means transfer of character, obviously enough…

**Warnings: **If you want to read something that will stimulate your mind and enrich your vocabulary, or probably anything that a sane person would write, stay far away, I mean FAR AWAY, from my fics, for these fics can cause permanent brain damage and most likely insanity. Well…other warning are: Shounen-ai / yaoi / a bit of angst / lemon (actually it's more of rape in this chapter…actually…it IS rape…/ foul language / some MAJOR OOC / and some other stuff that might not be pleasant for children…if you don't like those stuff, I advise you to leave now.

**Disclaimer: **Do we even need this? I mean, if I owned Zell, Seifer and all the other ff8 characters, then I wouldn't need to write in fanfiction.net, I would also be writing my own book by now! Anyway, Squaresoft, owns all those cool characters, not me, so don't sue me.

**

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**

**  
Chapter 2**

hic

"Give me another bottle please"

"Enough is enough dude, you drank too much"

"Come on! I'm a paying customer! Now gimme another bottle!" hic

As this argument was going on, Zell didn't notice that there was a group of drunk and rowdy-looking middle-aged men behind them. They started walking towards Zell and the biggest one of them who looked like the leader tapped Zell on the shoulder.

"Hey, don't you go bothering our bartender, he's a kind man you know"

"It's none of your business, you overgrown baby! Now back off!"

"Do you know who you're talking to?! You little shrimp?!"

"Hey, if you wanna fight take it outside! I don't want my bar to get messed up like last time!"

"Hmph! Sure, come and get me, but after I win this stupid fight, I get as much beer as I can without taking any of your crap!"

"No problem, just do it outside!"

They all went outside, but what Zell didn't know was the leader was not only planning to beat him up…but he's planning to do some additional damage…if you know what I mean…

"This is a one-on-one fist fight! Clear?"

"Crystal! Let's get it on!

The fight lasted for 5 hours. Grueling after grueling punch was thrown at each other's faces, neither one of them even thought of giving up. In the last few minutes of battle, Zell was already getting sick and dizzy with all the punches he received, and the beer was making it's way to his head, while the other guy seemed to hold on. So in the end…Zell lost… 

cough "I ain't givin up!"

"It's all over tattoo boy!"

He beckoned his gang to bring him to their hideout. Zell was already coughing up blood. His face and body was full of bruises, and he even had a broken arm. He didn't know where he was and how he got there all he cared about is that why they brought him here. The other men tied him up on a king-sized bed and they bound his hands, feet as well as his mouth. But their leader preferred his mouth to be free so he removed the electric tape on his mouth and then Zell blurted out…

"What am I doing here?!"

"You'll see…Leave us"

In synchronism they said "Yes boss!"

After they left…I heard some murmuring and some cruel laughter…_What the fuck are they gonna do to me?! _

evil laugh "We're gonna have so much fun blondie! Let's get straight to the point shall we? So…are you still a virgin?"

"What the fuck?! Of course I am! Don't you dare try to do what I think you're gonna do, you asshole! Don't you dare!" cough

more evil laugh "Watch your language my dear boy…you don't want things to go worse than it already is!"

"Fuck off! If anyone knows what you're up to you fuckin faggot, you're so fuckin dead!"

more evil laugh "We'll see…we'll see…"

 (Zell's thoughts)

_No...Please Hyne… I can't take this…_He grabbing something out of his drawer…It looks like some sort of liquid… _NOOOOOOO!!!_

That thought was the last thing that entered his mind as the other man destroyed his pure state. 

_Where the hell is he?! I almost looked all over town! The doc said that he ran off as soon as he knew…where could he be?! _I must find him…who knows what he could have done! He's on the edge…the only family he has is lying in bed like a vegetable! _Shit! It's already __4 am__! Where is he?! What?! It's starting to rain! Oh great!_

At last…after 3 excruciating hours…it was over…But I was still sobbing softly…I cried the whole time…I was still tied up. He already went out of the room. _At least he removed that stupid tape off my mouth! Isn't that bastard going to untie me or something?! _As if he heard me, he came back…with a camera on his hand…

"Say cheese! This night is definitely one to remember! You're sweet as honey! I'm definitely craving for more!"

"What the fuck do you mean by that?!"

more with the evil laugh "You see, I'm gonna take a picture of this sweet moment of you being tied up and being drenched with my essence, I'm going to keep this, so every time I need a quick screw I can call on you, and I'm sure you're gonna come, unless…you want this pictures to accidentally fall in the wrong hands…"

"You fuckin bastard! That's blackmail!"

"Actually, it's more of an assurance that I can count on your services in my time of need! But, you can call it that if you want"

"You are so gonna pay for this!!"

evil laugh

He cut my ropes and pushed me outside. It was raining and the water dropped on my used, bare and unclean body. He threw out my pants and my other clothes that are so ripped I can't use them anymore. It was so cold just like me. I felt so used. So pathetic…I wanted to end my suffering…After all, no one would care if I die…I saw a rusty knife near an old restaurant…I took it…

I kept running and running. I was so tired after the 4 hours of non-stop running just to find him, and the rain isn't making it any better for me. I reached an old restaurant, which looked comfy enough for me to rest for a couple of minutes…but then I stopped…I saw him, outside an old warehouse next to the restaurant, he was very bruised and he was holding a knife…he was wearing nothing but his blue pants…

"Zell! What're you doing?! Stop that!"

He looked up to me, I didn't notice his tears, maybe because it was mixed with the rainwater, and I only saw it because of his red eyes…

"Why do you care?! Nobody cares! So…just back off!"

"Stop it! Don't you dare say that! I…I…I care!" Then without thinking I took off my coat and wrapped it around him…I wrapped my arms around him as well…

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors_

_Leading you down into my core_

_Where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold _

_Until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside_

_Wake me up inside_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_Bid my blood to run_

_Before I come undone_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_--Bring Me to Life by Evanescence feat. Paul McCoy--_

"Wh…what did you say?"

"I said 'I care', now let's get outta here, you're gonna get a cold."

He clung to me, just as a child would do a mother. He was very vulnerable at this state. He was also very weak…I can tell. His arms were trembling; he was shivering like crazy. I carried him and ran to the nearest clinic, which was a 30-minute run. During the trip, he kept clenching his fists and whispering curses, whatever happened must have been horrible. Because, Zell would never attempt suicide unless it was deadly serious…whatever it is, I need to find out, if I wish to help him.

We reached the clinic and I talked to the nurse and demanded a doctor. A doctor immediately rushed to me as I was making quite a ruckus and he was afraid that I might disturb other patients. He quickly took Zell off my arms and brought him to the operation room. I was so panicked that I didn't notice that the doctor who took Zell was the same doctor that took care of his mother!_ What a coincidence! I just hope he's good enough to take care of both of 'em…_I was so exhausted that I feel asleep just a few minutes after he took Zell from me…

* * *

**Author's note: **Ok…I wanted to make the end of every chapter a suspense…but I can't think of any suspense stuff as of now…really sorry!!! Reviews! Please? This is probably gonna be a long story…somewhere around 5-10 chapters…I hope…Flames? Constructive criticism? Please e-mail me! Oh yeah, do you think the evil faggot 'evil laughs' too much? I think he does…Oh well


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Sorry if I took so long…I had a hard time getting back in to "the zone"…Ok…this is one of my very first fics' 3rd chapter…I already told you that this is one of my first fics, so please be nice… Reviews, will be GREATLY appreciated, and reviewers, will be worshipped like gods…just kidding…^_^ By the way, I'm not sure about Mrs. Dincht's blood type…I'm just presuming it's the same as Zell's for the sake of the fic…

Legend: Words in _italics_, are obviously thoughts, or to softly emphasize, whatever that means…while words in **bold**, are to emphasize, or for any other obvious reason. ~*~*~ means transfer of character, obviously enough…

Warnings: If you want to read something that will stimulate your mind and enrich your vocabulary, or probably anything that a sane person would write, stay far away, I mean FAR AWAY, from my fics, for these fics can cause permanent brain damage and most likely insanity. Well…other warnings are: Shounen-ai / yaoi / a bit of angst / lemon? (yup! A little lemon…or should I say Citrus? / foul language / some MAJOR OOC / and some other stuff that might not be pleasant for children…if you don't like those stuff, I advise you to leave now. *New warning!* Hmmm…should I say it or not? Nah! I won't spoil it for you! *evil laugh* _Oh no! I'm starting to sound like the fuckin faggot! _Nooooo! Ehem…back to reality…

Disclaimer: Do we even need this? I mean, if I owned Zell, Seifer and all the other ff8 characters, then I wouldn't need to write in fanfiction.net, I would also be writing my own book by now! Anyway, Squaresoft owns all those cool characters, not me, so don't sue me.

**

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**

Chapter 3

Where am I? Hmmm…Everything's all white…*gulp* Am I…Am I dead? Let's see…the last thing I remember was being tied up…I was…never mind…then…I saw…Seifer…Wait…My trail of thought was stopped by the sound of 2 people talking. I tried to talk but no sound came out of my mouth. I guess I was too exhausted to talk. I couldn't hear them very well but just enough to make out what they're saying…

"What are we to do?! This guy's mother is also under me and they both lost a lot of blood and there are currently no stocks of their blood type!"

"I know…I know…I'm trying to help, okay! I only found 1 donor, but his blood is not enough for both of them! And she already gave us orders…Though I hate to say it…Only one of 'em is going to survive…and that's…"

I tried my best to talk…pushing my throat to the limit…I was quite surprised when I coughed out blood but at least it was enough for them to hear me…I decided that if one of us is going to live it's definitely going to be her…

"Please take it easy Mr. Dincht! Your condition's going to get worse!"

*cough* "I don't care…Give the…*cough* blood to my ma…" *cough*

"But sir, we already received strict orders from your mother that we give the blood to you!"

"What?! No! *cough* Give it to her!" *cough*

"I'm sorry sir…"

"Huh, why can't you just do as I say and give it to my ma?!"

"We would, but we already gave it to you…"

My mind went totally blank…I couldn't think of anything but see her…I snapped the cords all around me and ran around the hospital…until I found her room…room 516…I rushed in…and saw her…I think she heard me coz of all the noise I made…

"Son?"

I didn't answer…I approached her slowly…

"Ma…why…why did you…"

"Come closer…"

I did…I held her hand…it was still warm…

"Zell, I've already lived a long life…I've already enjoyed all the things my worldly life has to offer…But you, you're still young. You still have a long way to go…"

I was already sobbing softly on her hand…

"But ma, what will I do without you?! I don't think I can live on my own yet! Pa's already gone and now you're going too!!!"

"Don't worry Zell…Everything is going to be fine…I promise to watch over you from above…"

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

--Bring Me to Life by Evanescence feat. Paul McCoy--

"Goodbye, son"

Her hand suddenly lost its grip…I felt my world crash into a million pieces…Everything was a blur…

"Ma!!! Noooooooooooooooo!!!"

After a few minutes of clutching her lifeless hand into mine…the doctors were panting when they entered the room…

"Mr. Dincht, I'm sorry but you have to go back to your room…"

I silently followed him back to my room…tears won't stop falling from my eyes. Then I felt a hand over my shoulder…I looked back and I saw one of the most unexpected people I thought would be here…

"It's going to be alright…"

"How can you say that?! My mom's already dead! Nothing is alright!"

He sighed and then said…

"Squall and the others are here too…they're talking with the other doctor…"

I walked away from him and went back to my room. Though I hate to admit it, I was glad he was there to help. I appreciate his presence very much but I just can't think of anything else but help my mom…

After a few weeks…

"Do you think he's all right?"

"Squall, you don't give him enough credit, he's Zell for cryin out loud! He can roll with the punches easily, but I have to say he hasn't recovered completely yet…"

"I know Selphie…that's what I'm worried about…There have been rumors you know…"

"Really? What kind of rumors?"

"If I tell you, will you promise to keep it confidential?"

"Of course!"

"Well, I've heard from some of the other students that Zell has been found in a couple of bars in Dollet…and that he was always found drinking or in a fist fight with some other guys…"

"No way!!! Zell wouldn't do anything like that!"

"I didn't think so too at first…but I asked one of my trusted students to follow him, and they ended up in some sort of bar…"

"Wow…maybe you should go talk to him…"

"Even if I did, I don't think he's gonna listen to me…"

"Yeah, you're probably right…but someone has to…"

"Hey guys!"

"Uh…Hi Zell! *whispers* I think now is a good time to tell him…" *nudges Squall a couple of times*

"Er…Zell, why don't you sit down…we were just talking about you!"

"Oh…Ok…what's goin on?"

"Well you see…we've been hearin things…"

"Ok…you've been hearin what?"

"Oh Squall, just get to the point already! Zell, what he wants to tell you is to stop goofin around! Quit goin to bars and havin fist fights!"

"……So you've heard…But don't think just because you told me so, I'm gonna stop, it's my life and I do what I want!" _*_Rushes out of the table*

"Guess that didn't go so well…"

"Gee, ya think?!"

~*~*~

While the previous conversation was going on, little did they know that someone was listening…

Great! Just great! First suicide and now this! What's goin on with him?! Hasn't he learned anythin yet!

Seifer was in deep thought and unfortunately Quistis halted it…

"Who the hell?!"

"Seifer, I'm glad you're learning to respect your authority." Quistis said in an ever-sarcastic tone.

"Um…Sorry, I was um… just thinking…um…about stuff"

"Oh is that so, that's good then, at least you're using your brain!"

Quistis walked off, while wondering what could've happened that got Seifer thinking and everything…It must probably something about Zell…_Hell, it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he loves him!_

Wait a second…Quistis is like our big sister right…maybe she can help…but that would mean that I would have to tell her about what happened…I need to think more of this…

~*~*~

Later that night…while in a bar…

Who the hell those guys think they are?! Tellin me off like that! _Better get more beer. I don't make sense anymore…Hell, as if it made any in the first place…_

"Hey, gimme more beer!"

"Y-yes sir!"

As the bartender was fussing to prepare Zell's drink, an unexpected and unwelcome visitor arrives at the same bar…

"Well, well, we meet again!"

Zell turned around and saw a sinister face he would never forget…It was the same bitch that raped him in the warehouse. Although, there was something different about him, well his height was still the same, he still had the same muscular built. _He grew his hair…_Indeed, the said man had grown a rather long silvery mane. Zell fought his instincts to get up and run away, instead he just lay there as still as a rock while the other placed a hand on his shoulder…

"Well, buddy, you see, I'm in need of assistance…"

"Forget it, I'm not doin it!"

"Oh, don't worry, you won't be hospitalized this time…"

"What the?! How did you know?"

"You underestimate me too much, tattoo boy…I have my sources, anyway the reason I came here is to gather some 'funds', you see I'm in a financial slump, I already sold a couple of my products, but that just won't do…"

"Do your dirty work yourself!"

"Hmmm…I don't think so…Of course, you remember the little 'thing' I had…you know…what if it accidentally got posted on the net…And what if…"

"Fine, what do you want me to do?!"

"Oh, it's simple really, all you have to do is buy some of them!"

"If I buy them, will you leave me alone?!"

"Well…that depends, you see, I put my hard earned money into these things, I wouldn't want 'em go to waste, I'm just gonna have to see you use it! That's all!"

"That's it? No strings attached?"

"Yep! No strings attached! Just follow me to this room and I'll give it to you"

"If I find out that you have some of your goons are there, I'm gonna whomp your ass so hard you wouldn't be able to sit for a month!"

"Don't worry, I told you, all I want is for you to buy and use my stuff"

"Tch, fine!"

The silver-haired man walked up a flight of steps just to the right of the bar. They passed by several floors, and they stopped at what seemed like a dead end except for a fancy door at the end of the corridor. Zell was already having his suspicions. He was already forming a plan in case this man wasn't true to his word. But though he received numerous tactics in the Garden, none seemed to fit this place. _I'm toast shit…_They walked through the long and dark corridor until they reached the door. He reached for the key in his pocket and placed it in the keyhole. He slightly twisted it and he slowly pushed the door open. When the two gigantic wooden doors were open, Zell couldn't help but gape at the site in front of him! _Holy shit! I didn't know that there was this much Valium in any given place! This guy must be a big time drug dealer!_

Meanwhile, the platinum-headed man was having thoughts of his own…

*mental evil laughter?* Just as I though…He thinks I'm giving him Valium…well, he's partially right…but that's not all I'm givin him! Nyahahahahahaha! *super long evil laugh*

* * *

Author's note: Really sorry about making Zell suffer…I just can't help it! I dunno…I always like Seifer to be the one to the rescue! Thanks again for the reviews!! I actually thought of postponing it for about a month coz school's just about to start in my country, so I think I'm going to be busy…but thanks to the reviews I got my motivation back!!! Woohoo! Now, I'm hyper again! 


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: **Sorry if I took so long…AGAIN…I had a hard time in recovering from all the school work I had to do!…All my teachers are being a pain in the ass lately, so I'm going to be pretty busy. Reviews, will be GREATLY appreciated, and reviewers, will be worshipped like gods… Thanks again for all the great reviewers! Flames will also be appreciated!

**Legend: **Words in _italics_, are obviously thoughts, or to softly emphasize, whatever that means…while words in **bold**, are to emphasize, or for any other obvious reason. means transfer of character, obviously enough…

**Warnings: **If you want to read something that will stimulate your mind and enrich your vocabulary, or probably anything that a sane person would write, stay far away, I mean FAR AWAY, from my fics, for these fics can cause permanent brain damage and most likely insanity. Well…other warnings are: Shounen-ai / yaoi / a bit of angst / lemon? (yup! A little lemon…or should I say Citrus? / foul language / some MAJOR OOC / and some other stuff that might not be pleasant for children…if you don't like those stuff, I advise you to leave now. New warning! Hmmm…should I say it or not? Nah! I won't spoil it for you! evil laugh _Oh no! I'm starting to sound like the fuckin faggot! _Nooooo! Ehem…back to reality…

**Disclaimer: **Do we even need this? I mean, if I owned Zell, Seifer and all the other ff8 characters, then I wouldn't need to write in fanfiction.net, I would also be writing my own book by now! Anyway, Squaresoft owns all those cool characters, not me, so don't sue me.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_Hmmm…Valium…that's not so bad…now is it? I just hope I don't get addicted to it…just like most people…_

"So how much are you plannin to sell me?"

"Oh, just a couple…wait right here…"

The older man just walked casually to his desk in the middle of the room. He opened his drawer and pulled out a couple of tablets…

"Wait…I thought you were goin to give me some Valium…"

"Well, I thought that since we're friends and all, I'd give you a special kind of drug…"

"Er…what exactly is 'special'?

"You'll find out soon enough…"

_By the way he said it…I think I'm gonna be in more trouble than I was before…but why does it matter? I've got nothing to lose…_

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask you, what IS your name?"

"I don't have one, but if you'd like, you can call me Jethro, at least that's what my other friends call me…"

_Jethro__, huh?__ Strange name…_

"Here, take 2 of these with a glass of water…I have some water in the fridge next to the bed…"

"So, do I take them now? And…uh, how much is it?"

"Take it now, we'll discuss about the price later…"

_Nyahahaha__! He's mine now!!! Just taking one pill of that medicine can make anyone……but imagine taking 2 at one time!!! Mwahahahaha! I still can't believe he fell for my trap so easily! But hey, why should I complain! He really has a cute ass! I just have to wait a few seconds for the drug to kick in…then it's PARTY TIME!!!_

"How was it?"

"It's ok…I know I'm new to this drug business…but I believe I can leave now, since I've already taken the medicine…right?"

"Of course not, I still need to see if it works, just sit on the bed and make yourself at home, I'll just be on the other room, getting my things…"

I went to my 'equipment' room and gathered a couple of things…grabbed some lubricant…some of these and some of that…some ehem…other stuff…_This is definitely going to be better than before, because at least this time, he would be literally begging me to screw him! Nyahahahaha! evil laugh_

_Ok…he's in the other room getting his 'things'…wonder what that could be…hmm…I wonder…what exactly does this drug do. Wait…I feel something strange…I feel warm…it doesn't seem to be hot, but I feel like I'm burning up…Might as well take my jacket off…Still no effect…perhaps I should remove my shoes, he did say to make myself at home…Argh…it's still burning hot! Did he turn on the heater or something?! Doesn't matter, it's too hot and I'm taking my shirt off! Holy shit! What if he gave me one of those…um…what do you call them again? I remember __Irvine__ lecturing me on those things…Oh yeah, sexual enhancement drugs or somethin! _

"So, how's my guest? Feeling comfy?"

"You bastard, what 'special' drug did you give me?!"

"Oh…it's not really that special! It's my patented drug, that increases one's libido"

"What the fuck?!"

"Can you feel it now? Heat is gushing through your cock, making you feel extremely horny! And as an added effect, it even makes you forget what will happen later on!"

"You fuckin bastard! Lemme go! NOW!"

"My, my, impatient are we? Tender ass!"

"WTF?! Tender ass your fuckin self!"

"We'll see about that…"

_Great! Fuckin great! He DID give me one of 'em sex drugs! Why does this always happen to me?! Wtf?! Why is he kneeling in front of me?! Shit! He isn't givin me head now is he?! Fuckin bastard! Oh shit… oh God! I feel so horny! I can't do anything…but he did say, I would forget everything by tomorrow…might as well go with it…_

"That's it, don't fight it, you're only going to ruin the fun for both of us!"

"Shut up! I'm not doin this coz I actually like it! It's coz of that fucked up drug of yours!"

"Of course! I am a genius after all! But don't worry, since you're very cooperative today in our session, I'll give you some free Valium to make it even!"

"Whatever, let's just get it over with…I still need to get back to the garden"

"Oh yeah…you still have to that SeeD crap…"

_He did the usual tie me up to the 4 poles of the bed routine, and had our torture session. Our 'session' went on for hours, I lost track of the time…but all I can say was that he was more aggressive and forceful than before…if that is even possible. I don't have a watch, but I'm pretty sure it was longer than before. I am going to kill him as soon as I get my hands on those cursed pictures. But I'm so tired…yawn At least, I got rid of that heated feeling…_

"That's it, my sweet! Sleep, so that you will have no memory whatsoever of tonight! Too bad though…Our sex was a lot better this time too! Since you were cooperating and everythin…"

ZzZzZzZzZz

evil laugh

"Now…how to get his cute ass back up to the garden…Oh yeah…_he's _still there…Perfect!"

A mysterious hooded creature was prowling around the garden that night…The certain creature had a big lump on his back. It could also be heard muttering censored words not suitable for younger readers…

"Grrr…#$%&!!! Damn! Why do I have to bring him back?! What if I get caught?! Then, hasta la vista SeeD salary! Weird though, he's unusually quiet…no grumbles or anythin…must have been a good medicine…"

As soon as the hooded man set foot upon the garden, he immediately fled and headed for his own dormitory. But what he didn't notice was that _someone_ saw him…He was too nervous to see the other shadow creeping up in the corner…

"What is he doin up this late? And who or what was that thing he brought to Zell's dorm?"

A few months passed….Jethro have been doing the same cruel thing to Zell every night… Zell's now loaded up with drugs and he doesn't even know it! Every night would be the same scenario…bar…drugs…sex…sleep. And sometimes, Jethro would even add a few other dangerous drugs just for variety. And Zell would forget all about it in the morning…

yawn stretches and stuff

"What a great morning! Ow…Ouch! Why do I feel sore all over? Did I train yesterday…Did I go on a party? Hmmm…I can't seem to remember…I wonder what's goin on…The same thing's been happenin to me for a long time now. Must be stress…My body probably can't cope with my daily activities…Yeah, that must be it!"

I decided to take a refreshing morning bath to start the day. As I took my clothes off one by one, as I dropped my jacket and I didn't see the powder that fell off from my pocket. As I dumped my other clothes, it was completely covered underneath…

knock knock

"What?"

"Hey, why did you only wake up now?! Everyone's waiting for you, ya know?!"

"Oh shit! It's 10:30 already! Oops! Sorry Selph, lost track of the time! I'll be there as soon as I can!"

"You better be!"

_I almost forgot! I'm gonna go on a mission today! I'm so stupid…_

"Well, have you talked to him?"

"Ya, he was takin a shower, he's gonna be over here in just a sec."

"Did he tell you why he is late?"

"Well…he said he forgot…"

"Do you really expect me to believe that? This is an official SeeD mission, he's supposed to be on time!"

door slams open

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late…I woke up late coz I sorta forgot to set my alarm…"

"Zell, you know better than that…"

"Well, I said I'm sorry, ok?!"

"Zell, calm down…Just make sure, you don't do it again…"

"Mind your own business Seifer!"

_Mind my own business…Mind my OWN business?! What makes him think he's not already a part of my business ever since the whole hospital incident…and speaking of that…he still hasn't told anyone yet…I think…And what's up with "I sorta forgot"?! He NEVER forgets, well if even if he does, it's usually little things. Speakin of the little things, doesn't Squall know, that people rarely listen about the details…like now, for example, he's just talkin away. Does he honestly think even half of us are listening? I've been on a dozen of these missions already! We don't need the instructions, EVERY SINGLE time! Hmph, I could already see Zell starting to trail off to Tra-La-La land. Speakin of Zell, our "relationship" aren't making any improvements lately…Nothing at all…At least he seems to be feeling better…_

__

During the mission…

"What the hell's wrong with you? I DO NOT have a problem ok?!"

"Of course you do! You just won't admit it! News flash! Bar hopping every other night is a definite sign of having a problem!"

"I told you, I DO NOT have a problem! I just like going to bars for fun! You're the one with the problem, you can't even hear or say the word _commitment_ without flinching!"

flinches at least 3 times…

"I so do not! What do you call Quistis then?"

"You're not yet married to her! And besides, do you honestly think that we believe that you're only sleeping with her and her alone, and what about all those countless times you sneaked past curfew and was not in your dorm was because you were in the training center doing what you're supposed to, which is _training_?!"

"Well….uh…that's true…but at least I actually admit I have a problem!"

"I'd admit if I had a problem, but the thing is, I DON'T have one so there's nothing to admit!"

"WILL YOU _CHILDREN _STOP BICKERING!"

silence

"Thank you ever so much Selphie, my ears were starting to bleed!"

"No problem, Seifer, I couldn't stand them myself, and if I held my anger any longer they would've been decapitated and their body parts would be scattered along the road while being munched on by packs of hexadragons!"

After a few hours…

"Phew! This mission's definitely a success! We saved the lost people and found a few useful items along the way! Only thing left to do is report to Squall!"

loud thud

"What the fuck?!"

"Oh my god!"

"Anybody have a cure or esuna spell?!"

"Wait, I know I had some…Oh no…I used it all up on the man a while a go! We have to bring him to a hospital!"

"Damn! The nearest hospital is a 2 hour drive! Let's hurry!"

* * *

**Author's note: **Sorry for taking sooooooooo freakin long! I was really stuck in all the schoolwork! I was stuck in this chapter for months! And I'm already apologizing in advance for the 5th chapter coz it's gonna take looooooooooooooooooooooooonger! Coz I haven't even thought of what to put in there yet! Thanks again for all the great reviews!! Reviewers get me going…and going…and going…and going…just like the energizer commercials!


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: **Hey, um…I'm back from hibernation…Ugh, I just got a severe case of writer's block, and I was in an emotional transition in my life, well actually I just got out from the psycho ward…So sorry if this chapter is a bit messed up cause I'm working on a rush here. Well, as usual, thanks for the reviews hope I get more! ^_^****

**Legend: **Words in _italics_, are obviously thoughts, or to softly emphasize, whatever that means…while words in **bold**, are to emphasize, or for any other obvious reason. ~*~*~ means transfer of character, obviously enough…

**Warnings: **If you want to read something that will stimulate your mind and enrich your vocabulary, or probably anything that a sane person would write, stay far away, I mean FAR AWAY, from my fics, for these fics can cause permanent brain damage and most likely insanity. Well…other warnings are: Shounen-ai / yaoi / a bit of angst / foul language / some MAJOR OOC / drugs / and some other stuff that might not be pleasant for children…if you don't like those stuff, I advise you to leave now. *No lemon in this chapter!!!* 

**Disclaimer: **Do we even need this? I mean, if I owned Zell, Seifer and all the other ff8 characters, then I wouldn't need to write in fanfiction.net, I would also be writing my own book by now! Anyway, Squaresoft owns all those cool characters, not me, so don't sue me.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

At the hospital…

"Doc, is he… gonna be okay?"

"Why yes…for now…"

"What do you mean for now?"

"He still needs to stay here for a couple of more weeks"

"Oh…Okay…"

"Has he been under any kind of medication?"

"None that I know off…Hey, do you know anything about that?"

"…"

"Hello?! Earth to Seifer! You've been quiet since we got here!"

"Oh…sorry…I'm just worried…That's all…"

That's so sweet…I know they're right for each other! Only if Zell could snap out of this and everything will be perfect! He and Zell…holding hand in hand…It's so romantic! Speaking of romantic…haven't been talking to my beautiful girl back at Galbadia Garden… wonder how she's doing... Selphie! Concentrate! Zell's sick here!

"Selphie…You okay?"

"I'm fine, just spaced out a little… Nothing to be worried about!"

~*~*~

"We don't know if he's been taking any kind of medication, why doc? Is there a problem?"

"Well…uh, how do I say this, we ran a blood test and we found lots of various chemicals and even a large amount of Diazepam in his blood, or in laymen's terms, he's been taking Valium on a daily basis."

"WH…what?! Valium?! How can that be?!"

"So that's why he's been acting strange lately…"

"I told him he had a problem!"

"…"

"I can't believe it! Zell's into drugs?! No way!"

"…"

"Ehem…Excuse me, but I still have to look at a few more patients."

"Thanks doc. Hey Selph, when do you think this started?"

"I don't know…The doctor said there were tons of 'em in his blood…probably a long time ago."

"…"

"Seifer, aren't you gonna say anything?!"

"…"

"Fine! Be that way! I can't believe after all you've been through you're just gonna sit there!"

"Sorry…I'm going out for awhile…"

***

"Do you think Seifer's gonna be ok?"

"Of course, Seifer's not the type of person who would do something irrational over a thing like this"

"Well, ya… I guess…"

"I don't think it's the proper time to bring this up, but how about our mission? We still have to give Squall the report…"

"Squall… I think we should tell him… He might be worried."

"You're right…but why don't we make it easier for ourselves and tell Quistis to inform him instead!"

"That's a great idea, but who's gonna enlighten her with our ordeal?"

"You are! You are her boyfriend after all."

"Why me?! …That's so unfair…"

"You talk to her and I go check on the victims! Ok!"

"If Quistis gets mad at me and I don't get laid for a couple of weeks… it's gonna be all your fault!"

"Not my problem! There's a payphone in the hospital lobby and remember to break it to her gently!"

"Sure…"

*walks with head down towards the lobby while muttering a chain of curses too obscene for younger readers*

~*~*~

Valium? Has he lost his mind?! He knows better than to take those kinds of drugs! Well, maybe the Zell with the mother does but I don't know about the one who bar hops every night… Damn! What's wrong Zell? Why won't you tell anyone? I'm here to help you, Selphie can see that, why can't you? I am here for you, no matter what...

The cold breeze blew into my face sending shivers down my spine. The moon was glowing in all its radiance, when something came crawling back into my mind. Something I thought was already buried within my collection of neglected memories. The promise…

*Flashback*

It was almost like any other night. The moon was full, the wind blew coldly against my skin, the waves gently rolled across the shore and the distinct smell of the ocean plagued our senses, it's what you'd expect from a house near the sea. And that's when we made it. I can't believe I still remember that promise…It was one of the very few times we breathed in the same space without the urge to rip each other's face off. Surprising isn't it, you're thinking of something when suddenly an episode of your life which you already thought you would've forgotten starts coming back and it's in full detail. Details, which include the way his features had looked that night. The expression on his face…so evident and full of meaning for a boy his age. It was all so breathtaking.

*End of Flashback*

My nostalgia came to a halt when I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder. 

"You okay?"

*sigh* 

"I'm gonna be a complete liar if I told you that I know how you feel just to make to you better, so I'm gonna scrap that part out and tell you that's it's gonna be alright instead. Since, I'm pretty sure about that one."

"Thanks Selphie."

"No problem, after all I am the official moral booster around here...Soooo… are you gonna tell me what's wrong or do I have to squeeze it out of you?"

"It's nothing, don't worry, it's Zell who needs help, not me."

"Do I look like an idiot to you? Wait, don't answer that!"

"…it's just that…I don't understand why he's doing this…"

"So do we…Let's just pray that whatever phase he's going through, he gets over it soon."

~*~*~

"WHAT?!"

With that word all the people in the lobby had their heads turned on an embarrassed-looking cowboy who was trying his best to calm down the person on the other line.

"They said he'd be alright for now, he just needs to stay here for a couple of more weeks."

"I send you on a simple mission and you tell me that Zell is in the hospital?! Tell me what exactly happened, NOW!"

"Well…uh… you see, darlin' Zell's been taking stuff…"

"What kind of stuff? Can't you just spit it out already?"

"There's no easy way to tell you this but…Zell's been taking drugs… Valium to be exact…and the doc-"

*loud thump*

"Quisty? You still there? Hello? Don't go unconscious on me now! Hello?"

"…"

~*~*~

Amidst to everyone's knowledge, the very person they are all worried sick about is waking up from his slumber. And is now contemplating the very reason he is present in this healing facility. Slowly rising from his bed the said man is now feeling the after affects of taking prohibited medicine and is now expressing his discomfort by using terminology that can perplex even the most knowing people.

"Shit! What the hell is fucking wrong with my damned head?! I feel like my head's gonna explode!"

As Zell realizes that no one is in attendance to hear his justifiable protests, he ponders on something else better to do. After a few minutes of pondering, he results to the most appealing thought in his head, and that is to go out of his room and look for the others. Just as he was about to do the said thing, a frustrated looking cowboy suddenly enters the scene. 

*mumbles incoherently a string of curses*

"I…Ir…Irvine?" Zell manages to say softly, ignoring the pain in his head as he speaks.

*mumbling*

"Irvine." He said more sternly.

*still mumbling*

"IRVINE!" 

"WHAT?" The articulate cowboy still managed an annoyed expression which made Zell more infuriated than he already was.

"I've said your name more times than I should've and now you're looking at me as if I'm the most annoying creature on the planet!"

"Oh… sorry."

"Yeah… sure…Well, anyway, what the hell am I doing here? And what the fuck is wrong with my head?! I feel like I've been hit by a Marlboro and Ruby Dragon's Breath and at the same time been grilled by Hexadragons!"

"Well, duh, of course, what did you expect? You'd feel fine and dandy?"

"What? Whatcha talking about?"

"Come on Zell, the doctor told us already."

"Told you what?!"

"We know Zell…we know you're taking drugs."

* * *

**Author's note:** Gosh, this chapter sure took long even though it's so freaking short. And I reread the whole story… I realized how terribly OOC the characters are. And for the spelling and grammar junkies, I intended some of the spelling errors, like typing 'talkin' instead of 'talking', etc. just trying to get them 'in character' or whatever. Oh yeah… sorry for the cliffhangers too…mwahahaha! 


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: **Thanks for all the reviews! I'd also like to thank one of my friends who 'tried' to help me finish chap5 but sucked at it. So if you disliked the previous chapter blame him. Sorry about making chapter 5 short too…Ran out of ideas and I was getting desperate to upload something. peace

P.S. Was thinking of giving Rinoa something better to do, like die or something, what do you think??

**Legend: **Words in _italics_ are obviously thoughts, or to softly emphasize, whatever that means…while words in **bold**, are to emphasize, or for any other obvious reason. means transfer of character, obviously enough…

**Warnings: **If you want to read something that will stimulate your mind and enrich your vocabulary, or probably anything that a sane person would write, stay far away, I mean FAR AWAY, from my fics, for these fics can cause permanent brain damage and most likely insanity. Well…other warnings are: Shounen-ai / yaoi / a bit of angst / foul language / some MAJOR OOC / drugs / and some other stuff that might not be pleasant for children…if you don't like those stuff, I advise you to leave now. No lemon in this chapter!!!

**Disclaimer: **Do we even need this? I mean, if I owned Zell, Seifer and all the other ff8 characters, then I wouldn't need to write in , I would also be writing my own book by now! Anyway, Squaresoft owns all those cool characters, not me, so don't sue me.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"Drugs?! What makes you think I'm taking drugs?!"

"Zell, there's no need to deny it anymore! The doctor told us himself! He found it in your blood man!"

"B…But that's impossible! I… don't remember taking any!"

"Then would you kindly explain to me, oh great one, why the doc found valium in your system?"

"VALIUM?! What the fuck?! I don't take that shit! Honest!"

"Are you implying that the doctor is a liar?!"

"Damn right he is! I'm tellin' ya Irvine, I don't do valium!"

"I don't think test results can lie Zell, but anyway, you still have to stay here for a week at least so the doctor can do more tests on you to see if you're stable enough on your own."

"A WEEK?! What the hell?! What am I supposed to do here for that long?! Lie around and do nothing? Let those damned doctors do anything they want with me? Poke me with those little instruments of theirs? You have to be kidding me!"

"Nope, no joke, you stay here for one week, as for us, we probably would stay here a few days, depends on Squall's decision."

"Squall? You told him already? What did he say?"

"I don't know yet, I didn't tell him directly… I made Quistis tell him." The hat-wearing man said with an evil smile spread across his face.

---

Meanwhile, back at the garden…

-knock-

…

-knock knock-

….....…

"Squall, it's me, I have something important to tell you."

"Enter."

As the door slowly opened, the blonde instructor replayed her little speech in her head over and over again so as to lessen the increasing anxiety inside her. After all, who could blame her, being the poor, unfortunate creature to inform Squall "Leonheartless" of one of his comrade's illness, is no walk in the park. It's more like a walk in a blazing path of hot coal and burning lava…while being chased by dozens of Tonberrys with their little knives out to get you.

"What is it Quistis?" He said, breaking her little reverie.

"Huh? Oh yeah…"

"Well? I haven't got all day."

"I am here to report about the mission you sent Selphie and the others on."

"Why are you the one giving me the report? They can easily give me the report instead when they return in a few days."

"You see… I don't think they'll be back in a _few_ days _exactly_…More like a week perhaps? Or more…"

"What _exactly_ are you talking about?"

_Well here goes nothing…_

"Zell collapsed the moment their mission was finished because he was taking drugs, specifically valium and now's he hospitalized, and is in critical condition and needs to stay there at least for a week so the doctors could do more tests on him."

"WHAT?! ZELL?! WHEN?! HOW?! WHY?! WH…?!"

"Take it easy Squall, take deep breaths… breath in… breath out… breath in…"

"Damn it, Quistis, this is no time for breathing exercises, though I do admit that would help."

"I know, too bad I didn't knew it earlier…I became unconscious when Irvine first told me."

"Quistis, could you leave me for a while, I need time to think."

"Sure, no problem."

---

Outside Squall's office…

_Zell? Oh no… Could it be?_

As I knew that Quisits was out of earshot… I started the breathing exercises.

_Breath in…breath out… breath in… breath out…think happy thoughts…breath in… breath out… happy thoughts… breath in… breath out… Too much stress… Stress… not a happy thought… Umm… sleep… yeah…that's a happy thought alright._

"Xu? Can you take over for a while? I need a break."

"…"

"Xu?"

"…"

"Xu?! Where the hell did she go?"

---

After 30 minutes of breathing exercises, Squall resumed to his normal, calm and stoic self. Then after an hour of working, unfortunately without Xu to intervene, an individual who should know better than to disturb the lion at work came in.

"Squaaaall…" The raven-haired girl uttered in the most persuasive manner.

"What?" The other replied, without the utmost concern, still buried deep within the piles of papers on his desk.

"You've been cooped up in this office for days now, come and have lunch with me!"

"I'm sorry Rinoa, but I still have tons of work to do. And I still have Zell and the others to worry about."

"Work, work, work! Is that all you ever think about?!"

"No, of course not, I also think about talking, blinking and breathing." Squall said with a little more hint of sarcasm than necessary.

"Wha?! The nerve! I've had it up to here with your insensitivity and sarcasm! You…You're… You're such a meanie!!!"

"Meanie? .... That's the only insult you can come up with? Is that even a real word? Gods…Rinoa, did you even finish preschool? I mean, your vocabulary isn't necessarily complex."

"Well…uh…It's not my fault! It's my dad's fault! He's so stupid, I must have caught his disease or something!"

"Whatever... Now if you don't need anything else, I trust you know your way to the door."

"Wait, what do you mean by you have to worry about Zell and the others?"

"Nothing, it's none of your business…"

"Come on! Tell me! Tell me, tell me tell me tell me!"

"Rinoa… I don't have time for this!"

"Let's have a deal, you tell me what it is and I leave you alone for the rest of the day!"

"Tch… Fine."

"Yeah!"

"… Just so you know, Zell's stoned and is in the hospital. Now, bye!"

"W…why? W..where?"

"Bye!" Squall said more sternly this time.

"Hmph! Bye."

---

As I silently and half-reluctantly left the office of my _oh so sensitive boyfriend_, I started to doubt if my plan was good after all.

_Hmm…I don't think this is working as it's supposed to… He's supposed to distract him, not kill him! Now, Squall will even be worried about him! I'm already having trouble with all his other friends constantly getting his attention! How am I supposed to get to him now? I think it's about time to have a little chat with an old friend…_

---

Back at the hospital balcony…

"Selphie?"

"Ya?"

"Has he told you anything about the previous months?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh…If I tell you, will you promise me that you will tell no one, not even him, about it?"

"Well, gee, if it's that important. Yeah, sure, you have my word."

"Do you remember the time when his mom was in the hospital?"

"Yeah… he ran off, then somehow he came back… only he was being treated too."

"I brought him there, I followed him, then found him. Did he ever tell you why he was there?"

"No, not really, at first we agreed to let him tell us if he's ready…but he never got around to doing it. So, one of us, namely, Quisty, talked to him and asked him about. She said that he refused to answer and that it's none of our business."

"So..he never said anything... I'm only telling you this since I think you have the right to know, ok?"

"Of course..."

"I didn't see everything, but I have an idea of what happened. It's like this…I saw him near a building… he was holding a rusty old knife…he was about to place the tip of the blade on his arm…"

"Oh my! You mean he… he was about t-t…to…?!"

"Yeah, he was about to commit suicide." He said, finishing the sentence for her, and became contemplative after saying so.

"I… I…. don't know what to say…"

They both fell quiet, each pondering on the recent exchange. The silence…not uncomfortable, instead reassuring, their thoughts occupying the need for conversation.

_Suicide?! Zell? No…I can't believe it. I don't think he's capable of that. Is he? Why would he result to something as… as grave… as that?! We know how hard it is to have lost his mom, aren't we doing our part to cheer him up? Did we fail as his friends? Didn't we comfort him enough? _

---

"Don't you remember anything?" Irvine said, obviously frustrated.

"Why won't you believe me?! I don't take valium! This is bullshit!"

"Maybe I can bring light on a few things…"

"Xu?!"

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

* * *

**Author's note: **CLIFFHANGERS ROCK! Haha. Trust me, I don't like tormenting readers by making cliffhangers, it's just that it makes the next chapter much more anticipating to read! Anyway, sorry for the short chapter! I assure you, everything will be revealed in the next… few chapters! 


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: **I hate cliffhangers… but I make 'em… am I hypocrite or what?! Ugh… I reread my story… and it sucks… especially the first few chapters!! They are soooo OOC!!! I hate it… I'm gonna reformat this story when I'm done…hopefully…

**Legend: **Words in _italics_ are obviously thoughts, or to softly emphasize, whatever that means…while words in **bold**, are to emphasize, or for any other obvious reason. --- means transfer of character, obviously enough…since my doesn't work with the edit thing… argh…

**Warnings: **same as always

**Disclaimer: **refer to previous chapters…

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"Hello…I need to speak to him."

"The boss is busy right now. Call back later."

"I need to talk to him right NOW!"

"No can do, the boss specifically said not to bother him with anything."

"Just tell him… it's Rinoa…"

---

"Seifer…why?"

"What do you mean… why?"

"Why did you suddenly decide to tell me all of this?"

"……………I don't know…"

_Why did I tell her? Why? I told her… because… it's been eating me up alive… driving me insane… knowing… that I could've done something to prevent that from happening. And now it's coming back again… What do we have to do to make you better Zell? Why are you withdrawing yourself from us?_

"He's gotten over the Sorceress' thing you know…"

The unusually solemn voice broke his little monologue.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just… saying that he doesn't blame you for everything that happened... "

"Oh… that's good right?"

-sighs-

"You're never gonna admit it are you?"

And with that, she left. She walked back inside and headed back presumably to Zell's room. It's not that I don't want to admit… it's just that… I _can't_… there's a big difference.

---

"What the hell are you talking about?" Zell though ill, still manages to express profound confusion.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Balamb?"

"I am… but ever since I heard about what happened. I felt that you needed to know. It's not much…but I hope it helps."

"Know about what?!" Zell's impatience was expectedly getting the best out of him.

"I'm sure you remember the nights when you go out bar hopping?"

"Yeah… what about it? I don't buy drugs when I go bar hopping! If that's what you're trying to say!"

"No! Of course not! Will you let me finish? As I was saying, you go out after dinner, but do you remember how you come back?"

"Well...uh…no…I figured I rode a cab home and was always too drunk too remember."

"I was supposed to tell you sooner, but I didn't want to bother you with trivial matters."

"Oh come on! Spit it out already! What happened to him?"

"Ok…ok! …You see…There was this time when I worked extra hours and I happened to pass by your dorm. I saw someone bring something huge there and I think he was talking to himself. I didn't tell you earlier since I was too tired that night, so I wasn't sure if it was just a dream…"

"What?! When?! More importantly, WHO?!"

---

"Hello?"

"Rinoa dear, you need something?"

"Yeah, fire that stupid ass who answered the phone, he won't let me speak to you!"

"Of course, consider it done, anything else? I don't suppose you called to check if my men were good at answering phones now did you?"

"Oh, don't be silly. I called because I need to have something clarified with our deal."

"Lay it on me…"

"You remember about what I said, about keeping his friends busy?"

"Why yes, I already took care of that tattoo guy for you…"

"Well, when I said busy, I didn't necessarily mean busy as in hospitalizing them!"

-a deep chuckle could be heard from the other line…-

"What are you laughing at?! It's wrong! I didn't tell you to kill them!"

"I'm sorry dear, but you weren't really very specific, were you?"

---

_Where was I before she came and messed with my head…_

_Oh yeah… I was thinking about the promise… _

_-Flashback-_

A faint sobbing could be heard amongst the sound of waves…

sniffs

"Zell, are you okay?"

sniffs

"Why are you crying?"

sniffs

"I'll play with you tomorrow if you tell me what's wrong…"

sniffing stops

"Matwon said that…I'll be going away soon…And that I won't be staying hewe anymowe…"

"Maybe she's just going to buy you new clothes…"

"I asked her that and she said that I'd be living with new people…"

"Oh…"

"What if…they don't like me? I won't have any fwiends…"

"If they don't like you and then make you cry, I'll beat them all up!"

"You will? Do you pwomise?"

"I _pwomise_."

……….

"I should be the only one who makes you cry!"

"Huh…why?"

"Because, I like you. You should only let people you like make you cry!"

_-End flashback-_

_I still remember the way his eyes lit up when I made my promise…I can't believe I caused such a wonderful gesture out of him with those two words. Now, the only reaction I ever get out of him is when his eyes flare up then he grits his teeth in anger. If only we could get back to the days when everything wasn't complicated, where innocence was all we knew and when the only punishment you can get was a mere 5 minutes alone in a corner…If only…_

---

"It was too dark to see and I don't think he could've done such a thing…he couldn't possibly…he's not the type who would…please don't do anything to hurt him…"

"Xu, calm down, you're getting hysterical…"

"Please…I beg you… don't hurt him…"

"We won't hurt him, we still don't have enough proof if he did anything wrong…so tell us who did it…"

"It's………. It…………..It was…Nida…"

* * *

**Author's note:** So… another cliffhanger huh? Sorry about the lame baby talk… I don't know how babies say "Seifer", "Zell" and a dozen other words…I checked my plans…still have a few more chapters left to write…you'll know the end's near when the last part of the song is inserted in a chapter! I love reviewers! Please continue reading! 


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: **Yo Chandraken! What exactly didn't ya understand?? I forgot to ask you the last time you went online… Anybody else have any questions?? You're all free to contradict my plot! :P So…yeah, this chap pretty much sucks…

**Legend: **Words in _italics_ are obviously thoughts, or to softly emphasize, whatever that means…while words in **bold**, are to emphasize, or for any other obvious reason. --- means transfer of character, obviously enough…since my doesn't work with the edit thing… argh…

**Warnings: **same as always

**Disclaimer: **refer to previous chapters…

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_Too…much…paperwork.__ I need to get the hell outta here and to that damn hospital! Drugs…still can't believe it. Zell's just not like that. _

"Xu! I have an urgent business trip, cancel all my meetings until tomorrow."

…

"Xu?"

…

"Shit…she's still not back!"

Frustrated as he is, Squall still managed to remember that Xu herself had a personal secretary. Furiously pushing the button on the intercom, he quite literally broke the poor machine.

"Bella!! Why is Xu not in her office?!"

"Uh…uh…I'm so-sorry sir, b-but she just left without telling where s-she was headed."

"WHAT?! When did she leave?!"

"J-just after Instructor Quistis left your office, s-sir!"

_Just after Quistis left my office…just after…what could've made her leave? Think Squall, THINK! This should be what your brain is for! Not paperwork! Now, recall. Quistis...nervous…beating around the bush…breathing exercises…hmmm…could she left to try them out? Course not, stupid! Think…mission report…a few weeks more…Zell stoned…Quistis fainted…hospital…_

"That's it!"

"What's it sir?"

"Oh…nothing…nothing, get back to work."

His exasperation made him forget that the secretary could still hear him. Thankfully, whatever sensibility he has left made him call Zell's hospital to check on him while hoping to find the answer to Xu's mysterious disappearance as well.

---

"Don't you dare do anything to him Jethro!"

"I think it's a bit too late for that, don't you? I mean, I already had him hospitalized."

"This deal's off! If you don't stop messing with Zell, I swear I'm gonna have you arrested!"

"Arrested? Arrested for what? The guy doesn't even know he's drugged!"

"I'll find a way…There's got to be at least one person in this town that'll help me…"

"And what exactly are you gonna say? -in a mocking tone- Please help me! The guy I hired to get rid of my boyfriend's friends is going to kill one of 'em!"

"You wait and see…I'm gonna get you arrested while I come out innocent."

As Rinoa hung up the phone, she can't believe how much trouble she put herself into. All she ever wanted was to make Squall spend time with her. They weren't always like this. Before the wedding, all Squall ever did was stay close to her and make her feel comfortable. He was always asking if she needed anything. Their wedding was marvelous as well, it all changed after their honeymoon. A few weeks after they've returned from Winhill, Squall more or less returned to his stoic self.

_I don't understand…My intentions were mostly good…I never meant it become like this…Why Squall? Why? This all your fault…If you spent even half the time with me as you did before, this would never have happened. Why must you ignore me? What did I ever do to you? Don't you know how painful it is?_

---

"Class, turn your textbooks to page 16 and answer the questions after you read the selection."

The students of 4th period, Basic Magic 101 were exceptionally quiet. To most instructors, this would be a most generous gift from Hyne, unfortunately, Quistis didn't like such gifts. Her mind was constantly flying to her orphanage friend who is currently residing in the hospital. And, the cause is even more disturbing than the fact he's in there, she didn't really expect Zell to be the type. The type who goes into drugs, she always thought of him as a hardcore mama's boy who'd never do such a thing. Your typical Boy Scout who follows the rules at all costs.

She continued analyzing the said boy until she came up with a brilliant idea.

_I could…sit around here, wait for these kids to finish and keep myself worrying…Or I could excuse myself, sneak into the Ragnarok, free my anxiety by seeing Zell and then come back and worry again about Squall's lecture tomorrow! Decisions…decisions…_

"Excuse me for a while, I need to run some important errands. Libby, would you please take care of the class while I'm gone."

"Yes Instructor."

---

"NIDA?!"

"Why I oughtta…"

"Irvine…Remember that you said we won't hurt him…"

"Oh yeah…I'm sorry Xu."

"It's okay…I should've expected that. Me, being a SeeD should know the rules as well."

"Did you ever ask him about it?"

"Ask who, about what?"

"Woah…Selphie…you scared the living lights outta me…"

"Heehee…I have that effect on people…"

"Hi Selphie."

"Xu? What the hell are you doing here?!"

"That's what **I **said!"

"Zell, I know you're sick…but would you please shut up?!"

"Hmph!"

"Irvine, would you like to take this? Or should I explain it all over again?"

(………………………………..)

"Sooooo…Nida's who, and bringing something to Zell's dorm is it!"

"Yes Selphie, now you're getting it."

"Woohoo! Go Selphie! Go Selphie!"

"Selphie…are you quite alright?"

"Uh…hehe, I'm fine Xu, just got out of the twilight zone…"

"Ooookaaay…"

"Oh shut up Zell!"

"Tch. Fine!"

An eerie silence fell unto the room; the only noise you could hear would be the clock ticking and the wind blowing from the window. They were all reflecting on the recent discussion, each developing their own conclusion from Xu's revelation. Currently, there was only one question forming in their minds…

"Why are ya all so damn quiet?"

Unfortunately, the one said wasn't it.

"Shut up Zell."

"Is that the catch phrase of the year?! 'Coz I am **seriously** getting sick of hearing that!"

"Ok…tired of that? How about, SHUT YER TRAP ZELL! Much better?"

"Oh shut up Irvine!"

-a raspberry from Zell-

"So…uh, guys… I didn't come all the way here, leaving my office and gaining a possibility of being fired when Squall looks for me, just to see you two act like 10-year-old brats…"

"What do you suppose we do now?"

* * *

**Author's note: **So yeah… as I said on top…this chap kinda sucks…And did you notice the drastic mood change from the previous chapters?? From creepily dark and evil, to childish and humorous?? No? Go review and you'll see! :P Confusing? Write all complaints in your reviews! :P Typos? Go apply as my beta reader in your reviews! I'll greatly appreciate it! :D


End file.
